There’s the funny behavior bartenders see every day, and then there’s whatever one Denver bartender watched go down.
Jay (@injaywetrust) says that he watched one man take a perfectly pleasant, low-key evening and utterly ruin it for everyone.
It all started when the guest, a man in his early-to-mid 60s, arrived. He began by ordering a Pinot Noir. From there, things quickly got unnecessarily argumentative, says the bartender.
Is The Customer Really Always Right?
At the time, the only other guests at the bar were a couple in their mid-50s. They were having a good time. Everything was cool—until Mr. Pinot Noir placed his order, per Jay.
According to Jay, the man asked for “the salmon, blackened” and “says it like we’re in an argument already.”
Whatever, right? Wrong. He then asked for two sides: a lobster-stuffed baked potato and asparagus. No problem there, either. It’s just these two sides are extras. The kicker? He also wanted his salmon rare, Jay recalls.
Jay says he had to check with the kitchen, just so he knew how to enter the order, but the guest started saying, “They do it for me all the time. I’m in here all the time.”
Meanwhile, while he waited, the salmon-ordering guest started watching something on his phone. He purportedly got his volume up so high that everyone could hear what he was listening to.
“The topic that’s on there is a political debate about transgender and g——– and just a bunch of trigger topics,” says Jay. “Not really what you need, at the bar, sitting next to anybody trying to enjoy their s—-.”
The Social Contract Exists For A Reason
Jay says he noticed the couple no longer having a good time and aren’t even talking to each other.
The bartender felt like he had to act. “Excuse me, would you please turn down the volume on your phone?” he recalls asking.
Instead of complying, the man argues that no one complained and that Jay is the one with the problem. The manager then got involved. Jay says she knows this guest from previous problems.
Things calmed down—until, while Jay’s doing side work, the guest purportedly says, “I’m not Hispanic. I’m legal. You know, you don’t have to worry about me.”
Jay decided not to speak to him any more.
That’s not the end of it, because when Jay has a friend stop by the bar, Jay talks to her. And the man takes it as a personal insult. “Hey, do you mind if I interrupt?” he asks Jay and his former coworker.
“I look him dead in his f—– up eyes and say, ‘Yes, I do,'” says Jay.
The man exploded, calling Jay a “piece of s—-” and accusing Jay of “being a d— ever since he asked me to turn my phone down,” according to Jay.
By now, the manager is once again involved, and she said that despite the fact that the man is a regular, he can’t cuss at the staff.
So he fell back on his Fourth Amendment rights, saying it’s his opinion that Jay is a “f—— piece of s—.”
Jay’s conversation-ending response: “You’re intoxicated.” Jay threatens to call the police for a breathalyzer. The guest finally left.
The TikTok has been watched over 121,000 times and garnered over 262 comments.
Customers Like This Are The Worst
Everyone has come into unwilling contact with belligerent and entitled people. The kind of people who seem to take real pleasure in making everything more difficult for everyone around them.
“They’re looking for a confrontation because they’re mad at the world,” opined @tulip061.
TikToker @cottagepoor24 noticed that “people think we are their captives behind the bar and they can say or do anything they want.”
While another user, @romanryliee, said, “Customers like this are the worst. Best to ban them so staff and normal customers are happier.”
Why Are Some People So Mean?
There’s no doubt that we’re all rude, sometimes. Whether from frustration, exhaustion, or ignorance, chances are you’ve done something off-putting to someone else. But for the chronically rude, it may come from insecurity or low emotional intelligence. If you’re feeling particularly insecure, rudeness may impart a temporary feeling of power. In a word: overcompensation. While if you’ve got low emotional intelligence, you might just not realize how your behavior is impacting others.
How To Deal With Rude People
Getting stuck dealing with a rude person is another thing altogether. A few things might help the interaction go more smoothly:
- Use a “power pause,” and then ask a clarifying question.
- Set boundaries.
- Respond with kindness.
- Ignore.
- Say “we can talk about this later.”
Because the thing about rudeness is that not only is it contagious (literally), it hijacks your mood. As Jay says, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wound up like a top.”
The lesson? Turn your volume down and don’t think the bartender owes you more than polite service.
BroBible reached out to Jay via his website, InJayWeTrust, and via TikTok direct message. We will update this if he gets back to us.