This Dude Getting Bagged On Surveillance For Faking A Fall At His Office To Cash In On Insurance Money Is All Of Us

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I know I am in good company when I say that far too often, I genuinely hop to fall through a sidewalk grate, brake a couple bones, get a fat payout from the city, and leave this life behind. I’m fast approaching the point where I’m one “per my last email” away from strolling in front of a city bus. Wasting away my life with this whole “work” thing is far less desirable that getting a quick fix and moving to Hawaii, change my name to Kunu, and teach surf lessons.

One New Jersey took it in his own hands to make his own luck.

According to New York Post, police have arrested a 57-year-old man who was subcontracted to work at a company in Woodbridge when he faked slipping and falling at a business in hopes of cashing in on the insurance money.

The surveillance video clearly shows the man grabbing ice and throwing it on the floor before lying down. My only critique is that the poor bastard didn’t even sell it. You gotta draw the foul bro. Worst con man of all-time.

Somewhere in Houston, James Harden is extremely worried about this man for this totally realistic fall.

The man reportedly waited until he was discovered, and then he filed an insurance claim for hospital treatment.

He has since been arrested and charged with insurance fraud and theft by deception.

This dingleberry may seem pathetic on the surface, but when you consider how many stupid lawsuits have been filed in this country, it starts to feel like this guy is ahead of the curve.

Last year, a man was awarded $7.5 million from Walmart after he tripped on a watermelon and broke his foot and hip. Or there was that dude who sued his date for $17.31 for texting during Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 in theaters. Or how about those two people who sued McDonald’s for $5 million over a slice of cheese.

Moral of the story: Fake it ’till you make it. Or get imprisoned.

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.