Florida Man Suffers Real-Life Nightmare As Python Slithers Out Of Toilet And Bites Him

A Florida man in Coral Springs got the bite of his life after finding a python in the toilet of his bathroom.

iStockphoto / Ornitolog82

What’s the scariest scenario you could think of? An engine on your plane malfunctions mid-flight? Your internet stops working? Incorrect. The scariest scenario is going to take a #2 and then a snake slithers up the pipes of your toilet and bites you. This nightmare situation happened to a Florida man. This makes me never want to poop ever again.

A man from Coral Springs, Florida just wanted to drop a deuce, but his potty time was rudely interrupted by a snake. A ball python was in the man’s toilet and bit the victim in his own bathroom around 4 a.m. on Sunday morning. Everyone reading this article while on the toilet just looked down.

When the man lifted the toilet seat there was a surprise waiting for him — a 4-foot-long ball python. This, this right here is why you never put down the toilet seat cover. Don’t listen to your wife or girlfriend, they’re wrong.

“Luckily” the huge snake bit the Florida man in the arm and not somewhere more painful such as his dangly bits. And luckily for the man, ball python bites are not venomous.

The man was taken to a local hospital to be treated for the snake bite. The Coral Springs Humane Society took the python to a veterinarian’s office where it was being treated for a scale infection.

Authorities are not sure how the 4-foot-long snake got into the toilet. The snake could be owned by another tenant of the apartment building and then slithered into the plumbing of the building.

On the bright side, if you’re going to sh*t yourself in pants-soiling fear, what better place than on the toilet to do so? This is the time to load up on refried beans and get a lighter to exterminate your bathroom.

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Sweet dreams python.

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