25 Funny-As-Hell Tweets And Memes From Dads This Week

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The kids are in the backseat. We’re driving back to their mom’s house.

My daughter announces “umm, dad, I have a problem” and I glance at the rearview mirror and see a stream of blood springing from her nose like she’s cosplaying Eleven from Stranger Things.

She’s calm though. My son is calm too, reminding us both this “used to happen to him in school all the time.”

The bleeding stops after a minute.

Earlier in the morning, she complained of a headache. I’m remembering this fact while thinking about her bloody nose and now my brain is playing WebMD and I’m working through at least a hundred different scenarios.

What if it’s Covid? What if it’s brain cancer? What if it’s all my fault and if I just listened when she said she had a headache and took her to the emergency room immediately then a possibly awful outcome could have been avoided.

While drifting off into mental panic I almost drifted into oncoming traffic and swerved back into my lane before hitting another car.

I worried about her condition for the rest of the car ride.

We pull into the driveway and she sprints out of the car and joins a group of neighborhood kids standing around in the street.

Later that night, I find her bloody tissues on the floor of my car.

I’m going to kill her the next time I see her.

Here are the funniest tweets and memes from dads this week.