Attention-Seeking Girl Exposes ‘Bachelorette’ Contestant For The Cardinal Sin Of Asking Her On A Date In The Past

It takes great strength for a man to be vulnerable. I started tearing up in the theater during A Star Is Born and as an involuntary reflex I punched the dude sitting in front of me in the head before yelling “O’Doyle Rules!”

Now imagine a time when you were vulnerable, putting yourself out there at the risk of failure and self-introspection, only to have that moment mocked for the sole purpose of social media clout.

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What a shame that would be.

Welp, that is what Ryan, a contestant on this season of ‘The Bachelorette‘ is dealing with as a woman named Samantha waited until the season premiere of the show to expose Ryan for asking her out on a date “in the weirdest way” a couple months prior.

Admittedly, it’s extensive and maybe the corniest thing you’ll ever read, but if you haven’t used a corny intro line in your quest for sex and/or love, you just aren’t playing the game hard enough and don’t deserve a spot on the 53-man roster.

I’ve lived 31 years on this earth and I’ve been dying for a woman to call me beautiful and offer to pay for my ice cream. Shit, I don’t even care what she looks like, I’ll drop down on a knee in that Dairy Queen parking lot.

You know what, Ryan–if Hannah doesn’t choose you, I’ll take you up on the ice cream date. Just don’t try any funny stuff. Or text me after.