As most people are aware, if you make up rules for your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you put them in writing, you will more than likely be looked at as an undateable psychopath.
Whether it’s a contract that sets forth rules for acquiring a video game, or ground rules for going to a movie together, a lot of people are not going to be good sports about it.
Which brings us to today’s story making the rounds on the internet of a boyfriend who was given a contract listing 22 things he was banned from ever doing.
The list, found in a traded in car in 2017, was shared on social media by Twitter user @kkeyes96. And people were so baffled slash appalled by it he had to delete the tweet after almost 16,000 likes and over 5,000 retweets because his Twitter was blowing up with people thinking the girlfriend was his.
Once you see the list, you will understand all of that.
Ready? Here’s her list, complete with spelling errors…
• You are NOT to have a single girls phone number
• You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat and Twitter)
• You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public)
• You are NOT to go to Honda without me
• You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week
• You are NOT to look at a single girl
• If girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away
• Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out
• You are NOT to ask for head
• You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again
• You are NOT to bring up Tyler, Noah, Deven, or Josh ever again
• You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you
• I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please
• If we move in there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house
• If we move in together your friends will RARLEY be allowed over
• If I catch you around girls I kill you
• You are NOT to ditch me for your friends
• Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU!
• We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least
• If I say jump you say “how high princess”
• You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so I know your not messing around
• You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back
Keegan, Mo, Tyler, Noah, Deven, Josh, and Austin must be trouble.
As if that wasn’t terrifying enough, the visual of the actual list with different colored markings and notes sends it deep into real life Fatal Attraction territory.
Reactions? There were many, and they were good.