What Is Hardballing? The New Dating Strategy That May Scare Off Some Suitors

New dating strategy is called hardballing, when a single person is clear about their expectations of a relationship upfront.

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There’s a new dating strategy that may scare off some potential paramours, but also be warmly welcomed by others. The hottest dating trend is called “hardballing,” and it is a no-nonsense take on relationships.

Because of the current climate of dating, some people want to minimize or limit how many dates they go on. Hardballing allows daters to immediately weed out prospects by being brutally honest about what they expect from a relationship and lover.

Harballing – which was reportedly popularized by Generation Z – demands that a single person is extremely clear about their relationship expectations upfront. If the prospect doesn’t intend to subscribe to the same dating goals, then it is an instant goodbye.

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Logan Ury – director of relationship science at Hinge – explained the meaning of the new relationship trend on the Kinda Sorta Dating podcast,

“Hardballing is a new dating term that means someone is being clear about their expectations of a relationship, whether you want a serious long-term partnership or a casual fling,” Ury told dating expert and host Jana Hocking.

A blunt demand for dating by someone you just meet will be offputting to many daters. So how do you hardball a prospect without scaring them off?

“Logan said you need to let them know during your first conversation that you’ve really been putting a lot of thought into what you want in your life at the moment in terms of a relationship, and ask whether they are looking for the same thing,” Hocking wrote in the New Zealand Herald. “They may tell you that they are just looking for something casual, or they may tell you they are actually looking for their special someone as well. It’s straight to the point and will help avoid any tricky ‘what are we’ confusion later down the track.”

Hardballing sets the tone immediately for if that person wants marriage and kids or if they are looking for a casual fling.

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Ury recommends that if you’re using dating apps – like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Match, or OKCupid – you should include specifically what you are looking for in a romantic partner as to not cause confusion or waste anyone’s time.

Matchmaker Susan Trombetti – CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking – points out, “Hardballing isn’t an opportunity to speed date till you get the right answers.”

Trombetti told InStyle some dating advice, “Date several people at once in the beginning so that you are confident that this person offers you what you are looking for. Have options; don’t just zero in one person and project your wants on them.”

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