Netflix
Despite having made a living on the internet for the last five years or so, it still makes absolutely no sense to me. The way things trend, how things go viral, what people seem to like and dislike: all a complete mystery to me. That’s why I just stick to writing about what I know and hope that you all just come along for the ride with me.
Take this Netflix original movie John Henry, for example, which currently has a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score. Now, does it surprise you that a cheap B-movie starring Terry Crews and *checks notes * Christopher ‘Ludacris’ Bridges is getting no semblance of love from snooty film critics? Of course not. What’s shocking is that it’s currently the second most-watched movie on Netflix in the United States right now, just behind the equally awful-looking David Space movie The Wrong Missy.
To be quite honest, I didn’t even know Ludacris was allowed to act in movies outside of the Fast and Furious franchise. I guess I just assumed that Vin Diesel always kept him tucked away at a Universal Pictures studio with the rest of the series’ various props. “Oh, another Fast and Furious movie is coming up, better go dust off the ole Ludacris robot.”
I suppose that’s the brilliance of Netflix, though: now that people are aware that John Henry simultaneously awful and popular — a.k.a. the prestigious “so bad it’s good” — then dumbasses like myself will almost certainly spend some of their precious time of this Earth checking it out. Fair play, Lord Netflix.
I’m watching ‘John Henry’ & Terry Crews just got shot in his head & got up like he ain’t just get shot in his head. Get this shit off my screen dawg.
— BEEZ (@bgttibz) May 12, 2020
We got to stop trusting Netflix Top 10 in the US Today list because they got a movie up called John Henry starring Terry Crews & Ludacris, which is ranked #2 and is possibly the WORST movie I’ve ever seen.
— TY FLAWSON (@Cpizzledakid) May 12, 2020
This is by far the worst movie of 2020 😂😂 do not watch this shit! I’m saving you 90 minutes of your life.. #JohnHenry #netflix pic.twitter.com/Gmf5Kho2Jb
— 😎 (@TweetOrSTFU) May 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/Coach_Rob11/status/1259502203187990536
https://twitter.com/big_business_/status/1260640622014316546
I have a ton of questions about what I just watched. #JohnHenry pic.twitter.com/Bn4M9MGgjV
— 🤖Mr. Robot🫣 (@UptownRoamer) May 10, 2020
🗣Just for that movie Netflix I’m Cancelling my subscription #JohnHenry
— T (@WillsMiii) May 10, 2020
I watched #JohnHenry today and they seriously had ya mans @Ludacris rockin' a gold jawbone with infinity stones in it. 😳😂 pic.twitter.com/DIYpoO0hwT
— Dazzling Urbanite v2.0 (@PDotEsco) May 11, 2020
Every 10 min while watching John Henry pic.twitter.com/b2F25JUVgD
— Bullitt (@ohDasMeBruh) May 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/mile12hurts/status/1260090148831637504
John Henry movie is the worst movie on Netflix. #JohnHenry
— Maher Jilani (@maherjilani) May 9, 2020
***
Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com