Kanye West’s Wyoming Mansion Will Include A ‘Urine Garden’ Which Is Proof Celebrities Are Just Like Us

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Getty Image / Toni Anne Barson/WireImage

Kanye West wants everyone to believe he’s an eccentric billionaire genius. His net worth is only believed to be around $250M but he’s assured everyone he is a billionaire. He’ll eagerly share this message with anyone who will listen to him.

But the reality is that Kanye’s just like the rest of us, a normal guy. I know this because there are plans in the works to build a piss garden at his mansion in Wyoming just like the one I have out back here. Mine isn’t officially labeled a ‘Urine Garden’ but it’s functionally the same as Kanye’s.

The Wall Street Journal recently ran a feature on Kanye’s over-the-top plans for his Wyoming mansion and his compound sounds anything but normal. For instance, he has a fucking stack of Birkenstocks arranged like library books. Again, this is totally normal behavior. I, too, used to stack my Birkenstocks at the door back in college when I’d enter the house because they’d smell like shit form that sweaty leather baking in the sun.

West had moved much of his personal wardrobe to a corner of the Calabasas studio, laying out Prada jeans and his own sample T-shirts on eight stainless-steel racks arranged like library stacks next to 70 pairs of size-12 Birkenstocks, square-toed Bottega Veneta sandals, Adidas foam runners and other shoes. He kept his underwear and socks at home, showering and changing into clean ones before he headed to the studio in yesterday’s clothes and finished dressing. That day he wore black-and-cream leather Yeezy Season 5 motorcycle pants that sagged in the back, revealing gray Hanes boxer briefs.

It is, however, the ‘Urine Garden’ that makes Kanye the most relatable to me. Every man alive takes the opportunity to piss outside/in the grass/on a tree/in the snow when given the choice of doing that or using a toilet. Kanye’s just figured out how to save himself a few extra steps by building one closer to his bedroom.

About 40 feet away, a group of designers and architects, as well as the artist Meg Webster, worked on designs for the Wyoming compound—a series of seven dome-shaped rooms to be part of a closed-loop ecology for energy and water capture. West had been consulting with the architect Claudio Silvestrin and the light artist James Turrell on the plans. Illustrations of the ecological and waste-recycling systems showed a vegetable garden, orchards, a pond and something labeled “bio pool.” One diagram detailed a “urine garden,” an aquaponic-like system that converts human waste into plant food. There was a sketch of a skate park. West mentioned something called a “hydrogen pulse detonation pump” as a shower technology. He called the entrance “the portal.” (via WSJ)

If you thought the piss garden was the most outrageous part of his WSJ feature then you were wrong because as I’ve said before, that’s 100% normal. It is Kanye’s opinion of himself that continues to amaze me the most: “I believe that Yeezy is the McDonald’s and the Apple of apparel.” — Kanye West

If you were wondering how Kanye’s handling everything that’s been going on in the world you’ll be able to rest easy knowing that he’s occupying his tie thinking about hoodies.

West flew from Paris to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, to work on music, then holed up with his family in Calabasas in mid-March as coronavirus concerns swept the U.S. In an evening phone call, he told me he has changed his mind again—he’ll sell his perfect hoodies after all, saying, “The hoodie is arguably the most important piece of apparel of the last decade.” The day before, he had made donations to charities in Los Angeles and in Chicago’s South Side, where he grew up, which will go to providing meals for families and the elderly affected by the outbreak. A few days later, as government officials and hospitals pleaded for manufacturers to shift to producing masks and gowns, West asked his atelier to look into the feasibility. (via WSJ)

It’s reassuring to know that Kaney is going to ‘look into the feasibility’ of manufacturing apparel to save the world right now. Everyone’s doing their part and Kanye West is too.

Why he chose to hunker down in Los Angeles during all of this and not at his impenetrable compound in Wyoming is just more proof of how normal Kanye West is, making completely dumbshit decisions in the face of a globe-shattering event and not choosing to isolate comfortably in the middle of nowhere but instead staying in California where everyone’s on lockdown.

To read the full Wall Street Journal profile, you can click here.