iStockphoto / Nattakorn Maneerat
The first wave of stimulus checks from the government are already starting to hit bank people’s accounts across the country. I know this because pretty much every person in my life texted to ask if I’d got mine yet as if the $1,200 was somehow going to change everything in life right now. If you haven’t received your stimulus check and are waiting on one then these are the steps you can take to ensure that happens.
Meanwhile, the people who checked their accounts to find that $1,200 in there are already wildin’ out based on an article in the Post which tracked people’s purchases on Twitter. $1,200 is a sizable amount of money. Most people are going to spend it on bills but some people are fortunate enough to be able to use that extra cash on things like costumes, sex toys, stripper poles, and more.
Here are some of the more outrageous things people are buying.
Fuck it I’m buying a stripper pole with my stimulus check. We have to invest in our future pic.twitter.com/sm3z0DjV6V
— JUNiOR (@adrenaljo) April 14, 2020
Only the essentials.
Stimulus check came in this morning and I immediately paid off my credit card and bought my first toy.
Just trying to orgasm by 25. 😭 (July) pic.twitter.com/tyu5Nef89s
— Just Julia. (@calldontfall) April 15, 2020
Imagine getting $1,200 free cash and giving that money to Kanye fucking West.
https://twitter.com/TGrandalex/status/1250429514057781250
I’m down if you are.
https://twitter.com/MotherOfDoggons/status/1245415313967067138
we're gonna need more stimulus checks pic.twitter.com/NfymESARA7
— Lance Lambert (@NewsLambert) April 1, 2020
i bought a cereal dispenser with my stimulus check to feel like i am at a hotel and not quarantined in my apartment pic.twitter.com/0Z0GzG8eI7
— grace holland🐰 (@thebiggestyee) April 16, 2020
I’m angry that I now know this exists.
just bought half a sport coat with my $1200 stimulus check. pic.twitter.com/OgLEVc6D69
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) April 16, 2020
Me test driving my lion that I bought with my stimulus check. pic.twitter.com/Dz9jpQTSJi
— Bretonn🏆 (@Im_that_scrub) April 15, 2020
https://twitter.com/ChelseyMFtaylor/status/1250423080767254530/photo/1
Why did we get our stimulus check and the first thing I bought was an inflatable dinosaur costume 🥴 pic.twitter.com/dCI5E7cJUj
— destiny (@trujillo_rules) April 14, 2020
This is actually a solid investment.
https://twitter.com/Assistss/status/1250439541204209666/photo/1
https://twitter.com/DeathByBurger_/status/1250043079706509312
The coat’s legit though.
With my stimulus check I bought this damn coat, really warm and cozy. But it’s not really the type of weather to wear it out now. pic.twitter.com/UPHTgioRsU
— Mercurian Witch ⑨ (@Drakengard_1) April 14, 2020
It’s true because it’s on the Internet.
my boyfriend and i are 21 and we just bought our dream home after combining our $1200 stimulus checks. stop being lazy. pic.twitter.com/nxohulpuFt
— Shannon (@emoselenass) April 15, 2020
https://twitter.com/mariamnaieem/status/1250587529536925697
Spending money on Cameo is always a good decision.
https://twitter.com/nintendu/status/1250463829558878208/photo/1
The #stimuluscheck and my regular paycheck hit my account at the same time at 2AM. Stimulus check going straight to savings and some to stocks. In a good mood at work today. Good morning.😂 pic.twitter.com/fbKO4ig2Q2
— Dr. Peta (Bread) ✍🏾 (@peta_bread25) April 15, 2020
Congrats to this person.
https://twitter.com/JustRyCole/status/1250462659557777409/photo/1
Someone who isn’t lying, finally.
https://twitter.com/pacifixsounds/status/1250578725336313856
Meanwhile, everyone else in America…
#stimuluspayment #Stimuluscheck
I paid my electric bill, car payment, paid off a small credit card, and bought a bidet. I also ordered a few tank tops since that’s my wardrobe now.
And just like that, it’s gone. 🤷🏻♀️ pic.twitter.com/bPCDKbSyv3
— Jennifer Dawson (she/her/hers) (@jdawson001) April 15, 2020
Someone needs to spend all $1,200 on McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and live stream them eating the entire haul. Vomit by vomit. Until every nugget is gone. I’d even throw in some $ to make that happen.