Two Teenage Monsters Charged With Felony Burglary For Stealing One Gatorade At Titans Stadium

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Netflix does this weird thing now where 80% of their programming is aimed at humanizing ruthless murderers. I watched the subtly-titled I AM A KILLER this week and I had to fight the urge not to become a prison pen pal. It’s an unfamiliar sensation to be angry at the victim for causing her killer to go to jail.

But the two animals I present to you today are beyond the pale. As sinister and premeditated as they come.

Via Nashville Scoop:

19-year-olds Seth Pickering, of Indiana, and Joshua Meek, of Michigan, are charged with felony burglary after police say they jumped a fence and made their way into the Titan’s Nissan Stadium, made their way down the tunnel into the player’s locker room, and took a 20 oz. bottle of Gatorade from a cooler.

These savages were booked into the Metro Nashville jail just before 2 a.m. Monday, each charged with felony burglary. The judge somehow let them walk free in on pre-trial release, so keep your loved ones inside or out of JV cross country meets in your area.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.