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Almost everything sucks as you get older. Your metabolism slows down. You have three craft beers and the next morning you’re drafting up your will. You struggle to accept that the hopes and dreams you harbored growing up were too idealistic and take a job at Coldstone Creamery while you “figure things out.” Dealing with all this shit by oneself is as daunting as being the only one at the customer service tent at Fyre Festival (topical reference, good work, self!)
Tinder could give a shit about old people dying alone, indicative of their increased rates for people aged 30 and older.
The hookup app has reportedly reached a $17.3 million settlement with 230,000 California-based users aged 30+ who claim that the service charged them double what they charge the younger bucks.
Via New York Post:
The class action lawsuit, led by plaintiff Lisa Kim, arose after Kim realized in 2015 that she was paying $19.99 for Tinder Plus, which provides users with advanced features such as unlimited “likes” and a passport feature to swipe anywhere in the world. Users aged 29 and younger were paying only $9.99 per month.
Tinder defended its decision to charge older users more by saying that they have more money to burn.
“During our testing we’ve learned that younger users are just as excited about Tinder Plus but are more budget constrained and need a lower price to pull the trigger,” Tinder said in 2015.
The settlement ordered Tinder to shell out 50 in-app “Super Likes” (worth $11.5 million), with the option to claim another 25, to the 230,000 oldies.
These “Super Likes” can’t be underestimated. I “Super Liked” my girlfriend while I was taking a dump, and she has since admitted that if she had not been endeared by me burning one of my three daily Super Likes on her, she would have swiped left. I would later learn that she too was taking a poop. I had previously believed that girls don’t poop. See, everything does suck as you get older.
P.S. I’m not saying BroBible deserves a piece of that settlement, but it’s impossible to downplay the role we had into thrusting this injustice into the mainstream. Check out our West Hollywood protest.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
https://twitter.com/GirtenJeff/status/618511844974530560
[h/t New York Post]