This Story About Someone Pooping On The Office Floor Has More Suspense Than A Stephen King Book

by 2 months ago
disgusted face

iStockphoto / master1305

When you woke up today I doubt that you realized the funniest/best story you were going to read was about someone pooping on the floor in an office and the suspenseful investigation that led to the poopy bandit being apprehended.

Strap in because this one’s a real humdinger. It’s a whodunnit that centers around a big ol’ brown poopy yule log that someone left on the floor in the workplace. This is a story with twists and turns, employees turning on one another, and a pay off at the end when we find out who the dooky dumper was. It’s *relatively* long and has a lot of tweets but if you’re like me and appreciate a good suspenseful story then you’re going to thoroughly enjoy this one:

It’s always the spurned contractor who didn’t get what he deserves. If the company just held up their end of the bargain and paid on time, as they agreed to, then there never would’ve been any shit on the floor. Instead, there was an entire day filled with #ShitGate and now they’ll have to bring in an industrial cleaning crew to scrub that human feces off the premises. Even after that, those employees will never be able to get the image of a poopy log on the floor scrubbed from their heads. They’re just going to have to move facilities forever.

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