Welcome to another installment of dads making jokes while slowly losing their minds.
It’s the end of February but the weather around here is feeling spring-like, which is Mother Nature’s way of screwing with people.
We’re coming off two weeks of snow but yesterday was 55 degrees. I’m not going to look at the future weather because I’m sure a blizzard is on the horizon.
I’m just a dad, pissed at the weather.
Here are more dads pissed about stuff.
Know a dad I need to follow on Twitter or Instagram? Let me know in the comments.
my gym buddy shaved his beard off today and i legit didn't recognize him for 15 minutes.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 25, 2021
Now that the weather is getting warmer it's time to change my work clothes.
[puts on lighter bathrobe]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 26, 2021
I just want to be bitten by a radioactive person who has their life together
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) February 24, 2021
My toddler is so picky about clothes. She has a million outfits but only wears 5 things. Before giving her a new outfit, I've started taking pictures of it for her to find when flipping through my phone. Without fail, she "wants one" so I "order it" and it "arrives" the next day.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 24, 2021
*Phone rings at 8:00pm
Me)Who could that be, calling in the middle of the night
— Stephen Lee (@shopkins776) February 26, 2021
Overheard in my 7yos Zoom class:
"Mrs. Teacher, every time I type my name it changes to Butthole Crack."
I am dying over here.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) February 25, 2021
10-year-old: Why are there dark circles under your eyes?
Me: I'm tired.
Me: I'm an adult.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 25, 2021
I’m 44. My drug of choice is ibuprofen.
— K (@shattered_armor) February 23, 2021
Have kids so you too can receive thought-provoking questions such as, "If Goofy & Pluto are both dogs then why does only Goofy talk??"
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) February 24, 2021
I was just about to do that.
-Me anytime my wife empties the dishwasher, folds laundry, vacuums the floors, cleans the kitchen….
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 24, 2021
I got my wife snow shoes for Valentines Day.
So, not only have I taken a lot of walks outside lately, but I also sleep there.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) February 24, 2021