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There is no more overrated candy on the planet than Cadbury eggs. I’ve made it my life’s mission to rid the Easter holiday of the Cadbury egg plague. Every time I’m peer pressured into eating one, I feel like I’m swallowing the Easter bunny’s children, who give me a sudden, intense sugar rush before I plunge into utter despair.
*Looks at Cadbury cream eggs
Don’t make this sexual
Don’t make this sexual
Don’t make this sexual— Ryan (@fuckryan_) April 16, 2019
I don’t know why, after insisting I despise this demon-egg, my mom continues to gift them to me on Easter, but I suspect it’s the same mindset that goes into her gifting me a FILA jumpsuit off the clearance rack at TJ Maxx every Christmas.
That was until I sent her over this viral photo of just how much sugar a small Cadbury Creme egg contains–26g, or about five teaspoons to be exact.
My mother, of course, thinks I treat my body like a temple and don’t get alarmingly drunk during every day that ends in ‘Y,’ so hopefully this mound of sugar will deter her from poisoning me with the best intentions.
Maybe she’ll finally realize that Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs have, is, and always will be the Easter candy G.O.A.T.
Plus, two teaspoons of sugar less than the demon-eggs.
Nothing but love for my President…

Recees