When I was in college, my buddies and I celebrated the start of the holiday season by visiting a few thrift stores off campus in a quest to add to our collection of ugly sweaters.
Thanks to my impulsive buying habits, I’ve probably amassed around a dozen knitted tops purchased solely for their garishness— including this one of Jesus glumly celebrating his birthday, which is one of my most prized possessions.
I’m the first person to admit I have no business owning that many ugly sweaters when you consider how often I have an opportunity to break them out. However, I rarely consider practicality when it comes to ironic purchases.
On Wednesday, my nostalgia senses started tingling and I soon discovered the source was a tweet from Windows, which seemed to be teasing the release of a sweater inspired by an archaic operating system.
The tweet thrust me back a couple of decades to an era when I spent countless hours trying to figure out how the hell Minesweeper worked and attempting to escape the yeti in Ski Free.
I’ll always have a special place in my heart for OG Windows, and as of yesterday evening, I will always have a special place in my closet for the Windows 95-inspired sweaters Microsoft unleashed upon the world.
The tweet quickly captured the attention of the internet as people flocked to Windows’ mentions in an attempt to get the chance to get their hands on the ultimate ugly sweater party flex.
I’ve been frantically digging to find some more information concerning these threads but haven’t come across any intel about how Windows will decide who will be blessed with the hottest fit of the holiday season.
I ask you all to wish me luck in resisting the urge to spend my weekend creating burner accounts and repeatedly tweeting at a brand.