This Hack To Make Wrapping Christmas Gifts A Billion Times Easier Is Going Viral And Making Everyone Feel Like Total Morons


Today I learned that Twitter can be more than just a mechanism people use to scream into an echo chamber about their political opinions and slide into DMs of women who wouldn’t pee on us if we were on fire.

Today, Twitter reminded the world that although we think we’ve made astronomical advances in the arts and sciences, we are still just well-manicured chimps.

At the time of this writing, at least 111,000 people have been wrapping gifts like a damn neanderthal all their lives, wasting countless rolls of wrapping paper because humanity has been kept in the dark since Santa sprouted his first pube.

That changes today, my internet friends. Welcome to the enlightenment.

Gone are the days of cutting a slice of toilet paper to fill the gap that the wrapping paper cannot reach. I’ll be damned.

Wait, is this true???

Holy hell I’m so dumb. Always have been.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.