Today I learned that Twitter can be more than just a mechanism people use to scream into an echo chamber about their political opinions and slide into DMs of women who wouldn’t pee on us if we were on fire.
Today, Twitter reminded the world that although we think we’ve made astronomical advances in the arts and sciences, we are still just well-manicured chimps.
At the time of this writing, at least 111,000 people have been wrapping gifts like a damn neanderthal all their lives, wasting countless rolls of wrapping paper because humanity has been kept in the dark since Santa sprouted his first pube.
That changes today, my internet friends. Welcome to the enlightenment.
Gone are the days of cutting a slice of toilet paper to fill the gap that the wrapping paper cannot reach. I’ll be damned.
Wait, is this true???
Holy hell I’m so dumb. Always have been.