The Music Circle Jerk Award Nominations, I Mean Grammy Nominations, Are Out

grammy nominations 2014

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Few things annoy me more than the bloated amount of self-aggrandizing that goes on in the film, TV and music businesses, but because people eat this shit up with a spoon here are some of the stupid Grammy nominations that have come out so far today.

I say so far, because rather than hold their usual pompous concert on live TV the Grammys have decided to make this an all day affair and release one set of nominations after another on Twitter with “personalities” like Ryan Seacrest giving away some of these very important secrets to somehow make this even more pretentious than it usually is.

You even have to wait until Friday night to find out the nominations for Album of the Year (as opposed to Record of the Year, a much different thing) which will be announced during A Very Grammy Christmas which airs on some channel I hope you won’t be watching.

Just look at some of the bullshit here…

Best Country Album
Riser, Dierks Bentley
The Outsiders, Eric Church
12 Stories, Brandy Clark
Platinum, Miranda Lambert
The Way I’m Livin‘, Lee Ann Womack

Best Pop Vocal Album
Ghost Stories, Coldplay
Bangerz, Miley Cyrus
My Everything, Ariana Grande
Prism, Katy Perry
X, Ed Sheeran
In the Lonely Hour, Sam Smith

Best Urban Contemporary Album
Sail Out, Jhene Aiko
Beyonce, Beyonce
X, Chris Brown
Mali Is…, Mali Music
Girl, Pharrell Williams

Record of the Year
Fancy, Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
Chandelier, Sia
Stay With Me, Sam Smith
Shake It Off, Taylor Swift
All About That Bass, Meghan Trainor

Best Pop Solo Performance
“All of Me,” John Legend
“Chandelier,” Sia
“Stay With Me,” Sam Smith
“Shake It Off,” Taylor Swift
“Happy,” Pharrell

Best Rock Song
“Ain’t it Fun,” Paramore
“Blue Moon,” Beck
“Fever,” The Black Keys
“Gimme Something Good,” Ryan Adams
“Lazaretto,” Jack White

Best Rock Album
Ryan Adams, Ryan Adams
Morning Phaze, Beck
Turn Blue, The Black Keys
Hypnotic Eye, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Songs of Innocence, U2

Best New Artist
Bastille
Iggy Azalea
Brandy Clark
HAIM
Sam Smith

Vomiting image by Shutterstock

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