Someone Figured Out Barney Stinson’s Annual Salary From ‘How I Met Your Mother,’ And He’s Filthy Rich

Depending on who you are and where your priorities fall, you might say that Barney Stinson lived a pretty ideal life. His existence on How I Met Your Mother consisted of suiting up, chasing ass, and doing other bro-tastic things thanks to a seemingly endless supply of money. But just how much money did Barney Stinson make, doing god-knows-what, at Goliath National Bank?

One Redditor took the time to figure out Barney Stinson’s annual salary based on how many suits he owned.

If you’re thinking “how can you determine that just based on how many suits he owned?” Don’t. Just stop thinking. Thinking is a goddamn waste of time.

In Unpause (S09E15), it is revealed that Barney spends 1 Crapload on suits a year and he makes 16 Craploads a year. Barney also says that Robin’s family’s wealth amounts to 6000 Canadien Craploads.

In Vesuvirus (S09E19), Barney shows Ted two rooms full of suits. From what is shown, there are 7 racks of 15 suits in one room. Assuming the second room also has 7 racks of 15 suits, Barney owns 210 (2(7*15)) suits.

In Game Night (S01E15), it was stated that Barney has been wearing suits since 1998, which translates to a period of 15 years up to the point of his wedding. Hence it can be concluded that Barney purchases 14 suits a year on average.

In Cupcake (S01E16), Barney takes Marshall to his tailor to get him a suit which was \$4000 (which Marshall finds out later on). From this we can calculate that Barney spends \$56,000 (14 x 4000) on suits a year approximately.

In No Tomorrow (S03E12), Barney wears a fancy green suit on St. Patty’s day.

In Miracles (S03E20), Barney is hit by the bus and later in the hospital reveals to the gang that they had to cut his suit.

In The Naked Man (S04E09), Barney attempts to score with a blonde, who rejects him and kicks him out on the street without his clothes and his phone. Now that adds 2 more suits to the count.

In The Front Porch (S04E17), it was revealed that Barney sleeps in his specially tailored Suitjamas. Now assuming that he wouldn’t bring a flashy green suit and his suitjamas to wear at the wedding, it is safe to assume that these 2 suits weren’t in the adjoining room. This adds two more to the overall count.

In Girls Vs Suits (S05E12), Barney accidentally rips a suit which is a loss of 1 suit from his overall collection of suits owned in the span of 15 years.

In False Positive (S06E12), Barney donates 4 racks of suits, which is a loss of 60 (4 x 15) suits from the overall collection of suits owned in the span of 15 years.

In Unpause (S09E15), it is revealed that Barney spends 1 ‘crapload’ on suits a year and he makes 16 ‘craploads’ a year.

In Vesuvius (S09E19), Barney shows Ted two rooms full of suits. From what is shown, there are 7 racks of 15 suits in one room. Assuming the second room also has 7 racks of 15 suits, Barney owns 210 suits.

Barney’s Yearly Income:

210 + 60 + 1 + 2 + 2= 275 Suits
275 / 15 = 18.333 Suits/year
\$4000 x 18.333 = \$73,332/year
\$73,332 x 16 = \$1,173,312
Barney makes \$1,173,312 a year.

Works for me.