Hello world! Welcome to Hell, or should I say “Sorry to admit you into Satan’s back yard,” because it is truly a sad day in down below when the Kardashians do something legitimately newsworthy enough to get me to write a post about them. What’s even sadder is that in this case “legitimately newsworthy” equates to “Kim posted a nude and Chloe Grace Moretz dissed her for it, then Kim came firing back while completely missing the point of Chloe’s diss.” What a depressing day this is indeed.
Alas, c’est la vie. But in order to keep all of this straight we need to start at the beginning, which is right here:
When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL pic.twitter.com/UlSLZb1fp1
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 7, 2016
Kim posted a nude to Twitter, because nothing says “The rest of my family is beginning to overshadow me and I’m starting to feel insecure about how I’m no longer the center of everyone’s attention” like “LOLOLOLOL im nekkid lookie here!”
Enter Hit Girl:
@KimKardashian I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than-
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) March 7, 2016
@KimKardashian – just our bodies.
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) March 7, 2016
That’s a pretty good point. What is Kim Kardashian teaching the young girls who see her all over the news: that being naked will get you famous? That sending nudes out over the Internet will get people to pay attention to you? Because I’m sitting here, trying to think of what other message that picture could carry and I’m drawing a blank. Maybe I’m just not very smart and need to start sending out nudes so my career doesn’t flatline. Durrr.
Rather than let Chloe’s tweet go unnoticed like she normally would, Kim actually responded…although like I said before, she really did miss the point:
let's all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. your nylon cover is cute boo
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
sorry I'm late to the party guys I was busy cashing my 80 million video game check & transferring 53 million into our joint account 🤑🤑🤑💰💰💰
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
So…your response to Chloe’s valid critique is that you:
- Have more money than she does
- No one knows who she is (in which case, why are you tweeting to her directly?)
- Her Twitter cover photo isn’t as “cool” as yours
I hope I don’t have to mention how none of those points refute what Chloe said, but in all honesty what were we expecting? Elaborate prose? A meticulously thought-out argument? Some haiku? I had low expectations just like everyone else, but come on — this somehow beats my low expectations in the head with a nine iron.
In other news that’s still Kardashian related but involving celebrities you’ve probably never heard of, she also bitched out Bette Midler for the following tweet:
Kim Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie today. If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen,
she's gonna have to swallow the camera.— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) March 7, 2016
hey @BetteMidler I know it's past your bedtime but if you're still up and reading this send nudes #justkidding
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
hey @BetteMidler I really didn't want to bring up how you sent me a gift awhile back trying to be a fake friend then come at me #dejavu
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
Who cares about your gift basket? The joke was funny bitch, and that was the whole point – it was a joke. Just like your last attempt to “break the Internet,” whatever that means:
[H/T Daily Mail]