Chris Brown Wants To ‘High Five’ And Give Rihanna A ‘Slap On The Booty’ Over Her Relationship With Leonardo DiCaprio

Chris Brown and Rihanna have been broken up for…a few years? Months? Decades? I don’t keep track because I like to pretend my life doesn’t revolve around celebrities and gossip tabloids, but deep down I know that’s a joke because here I fucking am, telling you about what Chris Brown said in response to Rihanna’s rumored relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio. Literally, I get paid to do this.

To be fair though, I’m still better off here than doing whatever you’re doing (read: jerking off in your mom’s basement), so I’ll quit my bitching and tell you what Chris Brown said. Ready? Okay here we go.

“I respect her enough to respect her privacy and her space, because I can’t believe everything I hear in the news. But what I see, I’ll be like, ‘OK cool, there might be something else going on,'” the rapper, 25, told Hot 97…

“I’m gonna have to give her that, because you know what? Ain’t nowhere else you coulda went though. High five,” he said. “You can only go up, and that’s the upper, upper echelon… I’m not even a hater. I’ll give you a slap on the back, booty, everything, ‘Hey, do your thing. Good game.’”

Chris continued, “In that situation, I just tip my hat. I’m not a hater. I’m not envious, I don’t feel jealous. Do your thing. I can’t have it all, brotha.”

Via In Touch Weekly

Yup, there you have it folks: Chris Brown does not and probably will not care about Rihanna dating Leonardo DiCaprio, and neither should you or I for that matter.

[H/T In Touch Weekly]