Company is trying to contact Jennifer Lawrence to make salami out of her
Getting close to a celebrity is a dream of many fans. One company wants to get the celeb so close you can taste them — literally.
BiteLabs is a company that produces “fine artisanal salami” from “meat that has been lab-grown from celebrity tissue samples.” The process, called In-Vitro meat production, is close to becoming a reality according to BiteLabs and it’s a highly controllable meat production without the animal cruelty, waste, and environmental impacts that comes with industrial farming.
I’m on board with the process, it’s the meat’s source material that’s making me do that dry heave face while clutching a cup of coffee.
BiteLabs wants to use the shavings of people. Famous people. So explains the BiteLabs website about their longing to turn Jennifer Lawrence into a salami:
The JLaw salami will be complemented by a mixture of rabbit and pork. A charming and confident flavor profile, the JLaw salami is coarse ground in a rustic style, smoothed with notes of honey, and spiced with orange zest and ginger. Always surprising, this salami will never fail to entertain.
I’ll be honest, I’ve stared at Jennifer Lawrence for long stretches of time and thought “I wonder how she tastes” but not like “with vinegar, oil and a nice crusty Italian bread.”
JLaw (is that a thing now? Christ) isn’t the only celeb BiteLabs is trying to make into snacks — they’re asking people to tweet at James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres and Kayne West. So, a guy who allegedly takes the proverbial sausage, a woman who doesn’t like the sausage and a guy who constantly acts like one. Noted.