Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming ‘Assasin’s Creed’ Movie

Most video games that get turned into movies turn out being complete shit. Just look at “blockbusters” like Resident Evil, Super Mario Bros, Mortal Kombat and Alone in the Dark – literally all of them are shit. There’s maybe one, ONE video-game-turned-movie birthed out of a lack of ideas and an excess in funding that doesn’t gargle donkey balls, and the only reason I’m even saying that is because I don’t know every single film in the genre – can’t be dealing in absolutes, you know?

But maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time Assasin’s Creed will be a genuinely good movie that isn’t critically panned by literally everyone. Maybe Michael Fassbender will win an Oscar for his performance and maybe the film will go on to gross more than all the Avengers movies combined. But is that likely?

Not a chance.