HBO
There’s nothing more chill than being a chill Bro. That’s for damn sure. And on the most certainly not chill show, Game of Thrones, we want to give a shout out to all the Bros who show some chill.
So who will win the Game of Chill Bros? Read on.
First up, the non-chill Bros from Episode Four: Sons of the Harpy.
Bronn the Sellsword
HBO
“Come on. You fucked your sister. Say it. Say it. Say you fucked your sister. Say it. Ahhhhh, you fucked your sister, didn’t you?”
Chill Bro Points: -100
The Sparrows
HBO
1. Don’t fuck with the booze.
2. Killing all the people in the brothels was not the chillest move.
3. Don’t disrespect your King to his face. To his face.
1. Again, God DAMMIT, don’t fuck with the booze.
Chill Bro Points: -1,000
Now, for the chill Bros.
5. Melisandre
HBO
“It’s just sex, Jon. idk why you’re making such a big deal out of it.”
Chill Bro Points: 100
4. The Sons of The Harpy
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Look, I’m not gonna condone mass slaughter, but if you are going to do it, you might as well look fresh. There’s no doubt these Bros looked good.
Chill Bro Points: 200
3. Stannis Baratheon
HBO
Sometimes we mistake dourness for unchillness. Last night, Stannis Baratheon reminded us to never be too quick to judge.
Chill Bro Points: 400
2. The Sand Snakes
HBO
The chillest part of the Sand Snakes last night was how little it seems any of them care for their future acting careers, because none of them are landing roles off those monologues.
Chill Bro Points: 500
1. Ser Barristan Selmy and Grey Worm
HBO
“We ride together. We die together. Bad boys for life.”
Chill Bro Points: 1,000
Here are the standing after four episodes. Be sure to check back next week. Disagree with my rankings? Take it to the comments.
1. Jon Snow: 499,950
2. Jaqen H’ghar: 10,000
3. Ser Barristan Selmy: 1,300
4. Grey Worm: 1,000
T-5. The Wall: 500
T-5. Poderick: 500
T-5. The Sand Snakes: 500
T-8. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 400
T-8. The Unsullied: 400
T-8. Ser Davos Seaworth: 400
T-8. Stannis Baratheon: 400
12. Lord Varys: 300
T-13. The Sons of The Harpy: 200
T-13. Roose Bolton: 200
T-15. Melisandre: 100
T-15. Bronn the Sellsword: 100
T-15. Kevan Lannister: 100
T-15. Mance Rayder: 100
T-15: King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name: 100
20. Samwell Tarly: -50
T-21. Arya Stark – 100
T-21. Brienne of Tarth: -100
23. Cersei Lannister: -200
T-24. Ser Jorah Mormont -500
T-24. Drogon: -500
26. The Sparrows: -1,000
27. Lord Petyr Baelish -10,000