Who Were The Chillest Bros On This Week’s Episode Of ‘Game Of Thrones?’

brienne-of-tarth

HBO

Who will win the Game of Chill Bros, Bros?

Each week, I will be breaking down who the chillest Bros were on the new season of the most assuredly not chill show Game of Thrones. Here are the rankings for Episode Two: The House of Black and White

First up, the non-chill Bros, of which, there were many.

Drogon

drogon

HBO

Enough with the tough guy act, Drogon. Rawwwrrrghhh I’m the mean dragon I do what I want. 

No one gives a shit.

Also, you have a stupid name. Like if I named a person Parson. Parson the Person.

Chill Bro Points: -500

Cersei Lannister

cersei-lannister

HBO

Killing a midget is chill, I guess. We’ve all wanted to do it. Killing all the midgets, though? Not cool.

Chill Bro Points: -200

Brienne of Tarth

brienne-of-tarth

HBO

Let it go, honey. Just let it go.

Chill Bro Points: -100

Samwell Tarly

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HBO

Dude. Shut. The Fuck. Up.

Chill Bro Points: -50

Now, on to the chill Bros.

Honorable mention to the dude from Dorne who sat in his chair the whole time. Relaxing is chill.

5. Kevan Lannister

kevan-lannister

HBO

Setting the record straight is pretty chill, especially when it needs to be set straight. Also, peacing out is so chill.

Chill Bro Points: 100

4. Bronn the Sellsword

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HBO

“You want me to leave my wife to go kill a bunch of people, just so I can have an even hotter wife?”

“Yes.”

“Word.”

Chill Bro Points: 200

3. Ser Barristan Selmy

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HBO

Telling the truth to your Bro about her Dad is a pretty chill thing to do, tough as it is.

Chill Bro Points: 300

2. The Unsullied

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HBO

Ain’t nothing phases The Unsullied. When shit gets real, The Unsullied get real chill.

Chill Bro Points: 400

1. Jaqen H’ghar a.k.a. No One

no-one

HBO

Being an assassin is chill.

Being the best assassin? Chill as fuck.

Running an assassins school for assassins?

Dawg.

Chill Bro Points: 10,000

Here are the standing after two episodes. Be sure to check back next week. Disagree with my rankings? Take it to the comments.

1. Jaqen H’ghar: 10,000

2. The Wall: 500

T-3. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 400

T-3. The Unsullied: 400

T-5. Ser Barristan Selmy: 300

T-5. Lord Varys: 300

T-7. Bronn the Sellsword: 200

T-7. Poderick: 200

T-9. Kevan Lannister: 100

T-9. Mance Rayder: 100

T-11. Jon Snow: -50

T-11. Samwell Tarly: -50 

13. Brienne of Tarth: -100

14. Cersei Lannister: -200

15. Drogon: -500