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Who will win the Game of Chill Bros, Bros?
Each week, I will be breaking down who the chillest Bros were on the new season of the most assuredly not chill show Game of Thrones. Here are the rankings for Episode Two: The House of Black and White
First up, the non-chill Bros, of which, there were many.
Drogon
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Enough with the tough guy act, Drogon. Rawwwrrrghhh I’m the mean dragon I do what I want.
No one gives a shit.
Also, you have a stupid name. Like if I named a person Parson. Parson the Person.
Chill Bro Points: -500
Cersei Lannister
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Killing a midget is chill, I guess. We’ve all wanted to do it. Killing all the midgets, though? Not cool.
Chill Bro Points: -200
Brienne of Tarth
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Let it go, honey. Just let it go.
Chill Bro Points: -100
Samwell Tarly
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Dude. Shut. The Fuck. Up.
Chill Bro Points: -50
Now, on to the chill Bros.
Honorable mention to the dude from Dorne who sat in his chair the whole time. Relaxing is chill.
5. Kevan Lannister
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Setting the record straight is pretty chill, especially when it needs to be set straight. Also, peacing out is so chill.
Chill Bro Points: 100
4. Bronn the Sellsword
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“You want me to leave my wife to go kill a bunch of people, just so I can have an even hotter wife?”
“Yes.”
“Word.”
Chill Bro Points: 200
3. Ser Barristan Selmy
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Telling the truth to your Bro about her Dad is a pretty chill thing to do, tough as it is.
Chill Bro Points: 300
2. The Unsullied
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Ain’t nothing phases The Unsullied. When shit gets real, The Unsullied get real chill.
Chill Bro Points: 400
1. Jaqen H’ghar a.k.a. No One
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Being an assassin is chill.
Being the best assassin? Chill as fuck.
Running an assassins school for assassins?
Dawg.
Chill Bro Points: 10,000
Here are the standing after two episodes. Be sure to check back next week. Disagree with my rankings? Take it to the comments.
1. Jaqen H’ghar: 10,000
2. The Wall: 500
T-3. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 400
T-3. The Unsullied: 400
T-5. Ser Barristan Selmy: 300
T-5. Lord Varys: 300
T-7. Bronn the Sellsword: 200
T-7. Poderick: 200
T-9. Kevan Lannister: 100
T-9. Mance Rayder: 100
T-11. Jon Snow: -50
T-11. Samwell Tarly: -50
13. Brienne of Tarth: -100
14. Cersei Lannister: -200
15. Drogon: -500