I tried playing Watch Dogs. I tried. I made it through the tutorial, up to the part where I wander around my sister’s house and she’s all like “Look at this depressing birthday party I’m throwing for my shitty kid!” but then I was like “Okay…what now?” So I zoomed around the city killing people, but then the game was like “Yo stop that this isn’t GTA you terrorist,” so I stopped…except then I couldn’t figure out what to do. Call me dumb (and mostly lazy), but I didn’t know what to do next and the game wasn’t interesting enough to keep me playing. It was just “cell phone” THIS and “exploding water pipe” THAT and “You’re an awful driver just quit while you’re ahead please.” Fuck you Watch Dogs, even though you came free with my PS4.