‘Independence Day 2’ Is Coming in 2015

What a minute! Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum. Gold. Gold is a dense metal. Metal is used to make ships. Ships go around the world by traveling through oceans, and the oceans contain whales, dolphins, and fish.

FISH. Fish, like that band Phish, which is of course a Burlington, Vermont group known for their extended riffs and long jam sessions. Jam like jelly and also like a hit song. Hit song! A type of worldwide hit that the whole country knows, like the Drake rap song “Started from the Bottom.” Which centers on the same themes of partying and redemption as “N**gas in Paris,” “The Winner is 'Hov,” and the 1997 Will Smith song “Gettin' Jiggy with It.”

OF COURSE. Gettin' Jiggy with It. Will Smith. IT'S ALL ABOUT WILL SMITH.

Will Smith won't be in the movie.


[H/T: SlashFilm]

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