Jimmy Kimmel Settles The Pineapple Pizza Debate Once And For All

The debate over whether or not Pineapple Pizza is acceptable has been raging on for quite some time, but it’s reached a fever pitch in recent days. Just yesterday, I brought you bros this story about a pizza chef drawing a line in the sand and refusing to make pineapple pizza, but doing so in the nicest way possible.

Last night, on Jimmy Kimmel Live, they tackled the pineapple pizza debate head on. Pineapple Pizza has always been associated with the great state of Hawaii. Pineapple and Ham Pizza is known as ‘Hawaiian Pizza’. Which is why I was so goddamn shocked to find out that Hawaii isn’t at all responsible for the creation of pineapple pizza. Instead, that honor goes to…Canada?!?!

Canada can’t even grow its own pineapples without the use of greenhouses. Hawaii is a land where pineapples grow like weeds. This is just one more facet of why Pineapple Pizza is unacceptable. It was created under unnatural conditions and each bite is a reminder that we weren’t capable of pioneering our own pizza style using our own fresh ingredients. This would be like the British beating us to creating the electric toothbrush, or teeth-whitening toothpaste.