John Cena jean shorts available at Kmart in sizes ‘small’ to ‘really too old to like Cena’



The Champ is here! Wearing jean shorts! Again! Because the Champ needs better clothes!

WWE is no stranger to milking every dollar from fans. This goes back to the days of Hulk Hogan exercise equipment and Twin Towers shirts. John Cena is now the industry standard in merchandise peddling. The guy is a walking billboard for Cena-inspired gear. We can’t see you John because you’re drowning in clothing with too many catchphrases.

Because Cena’s core fanbase isn’t old enough to stay up to watch the last hour of Raw, and is clueless to the fact that jeans shorts are about as cool as Zubaz, Cena announced via da’ Tweets yesterday that a new line of jorts are available at the local Kmart.


You can’t see me…buying those shorts for my kid.

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.