In a recent interview with Maxim Magazine, legendary Bro-King Nick Offerman was asked about his woodworking skills and how that might play in to his preparations for the afterlife. His responses were incredible.
Maxim: You’re known as a woodworking aficionado. Will you build your own casket?
Nick: In a manner of speaking, for I shall construct my own elvish watercraft in which I’ll undergo a magnificent Viking funeral. My loved ones and friends will frolic around a ceremonial pyre on an oceanfront cliff, making music and love and merry as my death ship sails toward the setting sun. As it nears the extreme range of a long bow, Chris Pratt will light a large flaming arrow from the pyre, nock the arrow to his string, draw the bow taut with a mighty heave, then loose it in a long, majestic arc of fire and smoke until, impossibly, its tooth is ensnared, dartlike, in the main sail of my barque, immolating the entire boat in a frenzy of roaring conflagration until the funerary blaze descends, hissing smoke, into the welcoming arms of Mother Pacifica.
Maxim: And what are people saying over that casket?
Nick: “Nice fucking shot, Chris.”
Maxim: Got any last words?
Nick: Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
And the legend of Nick Offerman continues. You can read the full interview on Maxim HERE. But for now you can rest easy at night knowing you’re inhabiting the same earth with someone as mythological as Nick Offerman, a true Bro-King.
For more like this you can follow me on Twitter HERE, and if you have any tips you can tweet them at me over there!