Who cares about the Academy Awards when we’ve got Mr. Skin’s Anatomy Awards, right?
I mean, screw Birdman when we’ve got scenes like this to honor?
For the 16th year in a row Mr. Skin skips right over the boring categories like best acting and best directing and gets right to the good stuff. With categories like Breast Picture, Best Butt, and Nudecomer of the Year he takes us on a cinematic journey that Oscar-nominated films can only dream of achieving.
Hell, Oscar winner Julianne Moore herself was also a winner in the Anatomy Awards, grabbing a Lifetime Skinchievement Award based on being naked in nine films. What a year for her!
Here are the rest of the lucky award recipients. Get ready to start adding some movies and TV shows to your watch list.
Breast Picture: Nymphomaniac
Best TV Show: Masters of Sex
Best Breasts: Alexandra Daddario in True Detective
Best Butt: Keri Russell in The Americans
Best Full Frontal: Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin
Best Lesbian Scene: Sara Malakul Lane and Erin O’Brien in Jailbait
Nudecomer of the Year: Gaia Weiss in Vikings
Celebrity Nude Debut: Scarlett Johannson in Under the Skin
Lifetime Skinchievement Award: Julianne Moore
Best Upskirt: Megan Swanson (Miss Nebraska) in Miss America Pageant
Best Butthole Blur Fail: Jessie Nizewitz in Dating Naked
Best Over 50 Nude Scene: Sharon Stone in Fading Gigolo
Hottest Masturbation Scene: Lili Simmons in Banshee
Best Pressed Mams: Monika Dorota in The Mighty Angel
Best Sideburger: Nicole Fox in Redlands
Best Nip-Drip: Hege Serine Golf in Lilyhammer
Stretchiest Nipples: Charlotte Gainsbourg in Nymphomaniac Vol. II
Best Bush While Sucking Toe: Sylvia Hoeks in The Best Offer
Monster Muff: Gaby Hoffman in Girls
Best Upside Down Cake: Caroline White in 24 Exposures
Best Right Boob Only: Betsy Brandt in Masters of Sex
Best Left Boob Only: Nishi Munshi in Californication
Best Lip-Slip: Pamela Adlon in Californication
Best Pierced Nip: Kamille Leai in Survivor’s Remorse
Best Triple Nipple (Tie): Angela Bassett in American Horror Story, Caroline Traywick in Premature
Best Ass-Backwards: Paz de la Huerta in Nurse 3D
Best Skinny Dipping: Carla Quevedo in Affluenza
Best Voyeur Scene: Melanie Ratcliff in Are You Here
Best Skinterracial Threesome: Charlotte Gainsbourg in Nymphomaniac
Best Nude With a Robotic Arm: Victoria Ell-Beth in The Anomaly
Best Peach Butt Fuzz: Dawn Olivieri in Missionary
Best Thong: Kristen Stewart in Clouds of Sils Maria
Best Coin Slot: Tara Holt in Californication
Best Nude While Smoking: Alexis Knapp in The Anomaly
Best BBW: Odette Despairr in Babysitter Massacre
Best Boob Squeeze: Beau Garret and Lisa Edelstein in Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce
Best Nude Playing a Sax: Tessa Cash in Never Tear Us Apart: The Untold Story of INXS
Best Sex with The Invisible Man Scene: Eva Green in Penny Dreadful
[Protip: All of these scenes can be viewed over on Mr. Skin’s site. Just sayin’.]