Stephen Colbert Divulged The Entire Plot Of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ And Ruined It For Everyone

by 3 years ago

By now, every person in America who owns a television has seen the epic trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It’s been pretty much impossible not to see, airing during prime-time everything.

George Lucas’ next installment in the the Star Wars saga is both highly-anticipated, and shrouded in secrecy when it comes to the story-line. That is, until last night, when Stephen Colbert dished out pretty much everything that is set to unfold in the upcoming film and totally ruined it for everyone.

Just kidding, the funny Late Show with Stephen Colbert segment didn’t exactly spoil Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but as he usually does, Colbert employed his comedic wit to paint a pretty ridiculous plot for the film that might be true, for all we know.

Colbert’s take:

“It has been three decades since the events of the original trilogy. The dark and mysterious First Order has stepped into the power vacuum once held by the Empire. And the newly named Resistance fights in place of the Rebel Alliance, which has begun a tragic shift to the dark side. But John Boyega’s character is in a Stormtrooper, so it follows that now the new New Hope comes from the very enemy we’ve been trained to hate. Remember, the Dark Side was never explicitly tied to the Empire; the Force itself exists outside of mere temporal authority structures so I predict that dark becomes light, light becomes dark, and the very fabric of the Force is stretched to its limit as a new generation emerges to tear down the false distinctions of the past and unite all of us: old and new, moisture farmers and nerf herders, star and wars, once and for all, bringing peace to the galaxy.”

The force seems strong with this one. We’ll have to wait until December 18th to see if he was correct, though.


TAGSNew Star Wars TrailerStar Warsstar wars the force awakensStephen Colbertthe late show with Stephen Colbert