Guy Posts Insane Craigslist Ad Looking For Help With ‘Superman Reality Show’ And He’s GOT TO Be High On Something

Jesus. This is…this is the work of a man either bumping every hour or mainlining 5 Hour Energy.

This Craigslist ad for help with a “Superman reality show” is so bizarre, so convoluted, and SO FUCKING LONG (over 5,500 words!) that I’m feeling a drug high just reading it over. If you want to read all 5,000+ words, be my guest, but here are just some of the most insane nuggets.

If you’re interested I ask you to please read this very long full show description: this is a very high concept reality show and I need someone who gets what I’m working on here and not someone who just shows up and ends up being in over their head because they didn’t read the concept and didn’t understand what this is all about.

This is a very long job ad because this is an extremely high concept show and I need someone who can handle very high concept material and can take this all in in one ad because this is the level of complexity that this show is going to be operating on.

That’s adorable how he thinks this is actually going to become a thing. He thinks this will all be a real show. The guy has moxy, I’ll give him that. Moxy and a ton of good blow.

The basic premise of this show is that Clark Kent/Superman and all the characters in the DC Universe are all fictional portrayals of actual real people in our world and I believe that by determining who they are in reality it is possible to create a Superman Reality Show that is basically like a reality show version of the DC Universe in many ways.

Sorry to blow bullet holes in your idea so early but Superman doesn’t really exist. Neither does Clark Kent because newspapers are dead. So may I suggest a blogger. A blogger who’s REALLY strong and in fantastic shape. Except that person doesn’t exist either….

Like for example, I believe that the real Lex Luthor is Rupert Murdoch while the real LexCorps is News Corps and so in the show Rupert Murdoch is just Lex Luthor and News Corps is LexCorps.

And then like the real Lois Lane is Ashley Arenson while the real Lana Lang is Gillian Zinser from Beverly Hills 90210, while the real Bruce Wayne is Kanye West…

STOP! FUCKING STOP! You think Kanye West is Bruce Wayne?!? Kayne West could never be Batman. He’d yell “IT’S KAYNE!” after twenty seconds in the suit because no one recognized him. You think the man who can’t find enough ways to brag about himself would able to keep a secret identity?

Give me the name of your dealer, right now. That’s some good shit you’re on and I need a taste.

[via Death & Taxes]