Back in January, the list of dudes Disney was considering to play Han Solo in its upcoming origin story for the smuggler leaked, and oh man was it full of shit dicks.
Ansel Elgort, Dave Franco, Logan Lerman, Miles Teller. It was Chump City, population those mother fucking chumps.
Now, that list is down to three people, three different people, and oh boy, is it some shit dicks.*
*To be completely honest, I have no idea who any of these people are.
Get a peek at these brahs.
Taron Egerton
If on the fourth day, instead of man, God said he would make shit dick, Taron Egerton would have appeared naked except for a Kangol cap in the Garden of Eden.
Alden Ehrenreich
Alden Ehrenreich sounds like the name of someone whose dad was president of the shit dick factory, and who can’t wait to take over the family business.
Jack Reynor
A guy with the name Jack Reynor is the guy who tries to fight all the people in the bar who don’t want to fight anyone, and haven’t done anything to upset Jack Reynor, but Jack Reynor’s on his fifth Red Bull and Vodka and needs to get his face punching fix, regardless of who the fuck you are.
You know who isn’t a shit dick? Harrison Ford. He should just play his 20-year-old self in the movie. Wouldn’t bother me one bit.
That said, Rogue One still looks like it’s gonna be dope.
[H/T io9]