3 Somehow True Stories About Legendary Country Singer/Badass George Jones (RIP)

Jones was perhaps better known as one of music's most historic drunks. He was a man who had his stomach slashed with a straight razor at the age of 20, and never really stopped living hard from there, gaining the nickname “No Show” Jones for his tendancy to get too shitfaced to perform. He also…

Once tried to rip off Porter Wagoner's penis.

Was Wagoner the craziest of them all? Not by a long shot: once, while Wagoner was using a bathroom stall, he felt a hand reach around his groin and yank at his penis, twisting it and pulling it mid-urination. Shocked, he spun around. Who do you think stood before him, fucked up out of his gourd? You guessed it: George Jones. via.


Flushed thousands of dollars down a toilet.

As his popularity increased, Jones' idea of fun became more and more extreme and irresponsible. Pappy Daily bailed him out of jail once and landed him a $2,500 gig in Houston. Jones played the gig, threw a party, and got drunk; word filtered back to Daily that Jones had flushed the remainder of the money down the toilet. Daily confronted the singer about the incident, saying, “Golly, George, I get you out of jail, get you a date, give you front money and buy you new stage wear, and you go and flush $2,500 down the toilet!” via.


Drove a lawn mower to a liquor store.

Throughout his career, Mr. Jones drew attention for his heavy drinking and wild behavior.

In his 1996 memoir, “I Lived to Tell It All,” written with Tom Carter, Mr. Jones recalled driving a riding lawn mower to the liquor store when his second wife hid the keys to his many cars — an incident later alluded to in one of Mr. Jones’s music videos. via.


His memoir I Lived to Tell It All can be found here. I may have just bought it.

Rest in peace, Possum. I'm really not sure how you lived to be 81.

[H/T: For more amazing George Jones stories, @edsbs]