I’m not saying that this music festival bro has the whitest dance moves in history, I’m just saying that compared to this dude breaking it down in the mud at the 2016 Download Festival Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air looks like he could be a member of NWA. And I’m not Fred Astaire myself, or maybe I am, because much like Fred when I’m on the dance floor I look like someone held me upside down by my feed and dipped me in bleach.
The only times you’ll ever find me dancing are 1) at weddings, 2) reggae concerts, or 3) Phish shows, and it’s completely acceptable to dance like a total jackass at all three of those occasions. You don’t need rhythm to have a good time you just need to surrender to the flow, right? Maybe this bro’s just figured life out while the rest of us are sitting back and nitpicking his sick ass dance moves. Perhaps dancing in the mud like a complete buffoon is the greatest sensation on earth, I wouldn’t know because any time I’ve found myself dancing in the mud I’ve self-medicated to the point that I don’t really remember what happened.
By the way, here’s the Part 1 to that video above that was uploaded just a few minutes ago:
At the 2004 Bonnaroo, the third Bonnaroo festival, I totally got down in the mud at the Primus show but I was on god knows what at the time and this was before everyone had a smartphone (I think only the Palm Treo was around back in ’04), so there’s no record of me cuttin’ it up like this bro from England. Thank god I came of age at the time I did and don’t have a digital footprint that haunts me like you bros do today…
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P.s., I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A KENNY G CONCERT, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
(h/t MetroUK)