Kristen Bell’s New Song ‘Text Me Marry Christmas’ Just Killed My Last Morsel Of Yuletide Cheer

Unless you’re living under a rock I’m sure you’ve heard the new reports of arctic traveling through most of the country right now. Here in NYC it’s the first day of the season that truly feels like Winter, and all the things that Winter brings along.

Normally it would get some people into the Christmas spirit, the biting cold does strange things to people’s minds and they look for any way to associate it with something good. However, sloth-loving Kristen Bell decided to drop her new single titled ‘Text Me Merry Christmas’ and quell any yuletide cheer that might have been bubbling to the surface.

On behalf of surly New Yorkers (and everyone, everywhere) I’d just like to thank you, Kristen Bell. I’d like to thank you for killing the holiday spirit before it even had a chance to take hold this year. In one-fell-swoop you undid any damage done by Starbucks and Kay Jewelers’ marketers. Well done.

So here it is, the song that killed Christmas by Kristen Bell, ‘Text Me Marry Christmas’


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