I don’t think it’s an outrageous rule that I only let my girlfriend read my blogs. If I didn’t write it, it really didn’t happen as far as I’m concerned. If I catch her reading so much as her grandmother’s eulogy or the directions on a Near East rice box (pro tip: always add triple the amount of water), she best make herself a comfortable on the couch.
Mariah Carey knows what I’m talking about. Just weeks after news broke that Mariah allegedly insisted that she have her own music playing as she entered a famous restaurant in Capri, Italy, a source close to Mariah and her businessman fiancé James Packer claims that Mariah went haywire on Packer when he played a Beyonce song in the bedroom.
According to The Fix,
“To get her in the mood last month, he turned on [Beyonce’s signature smash] ‘Crazy in Love’, and oh boy, was that a disaster!” the insider told us. “Mariah threw the computer that was playing it via speakers out the window!
“Seriously, just trashed it. She ran out of the room screaming. So the night was obviously finished for James, and they retreated to separate parts of the house. And she had a few glasses of wine to cool down.”
This isn’t the first time James nearly got his dick chopped off for publicly enjoying another woman’s tunes. A source claims Mariah ain’t having any of J-Lo’s beats either.
“He put on five bars of ‘Waiting for Tonight’, and Mariah coughed out her courgette at dinner so James made a bee line for the Spotify and immediately put on Mariah’s greatest hits!” our source added.
“He has learned never, ever to play another female artist in the house. It’s either Mariah, jazz or classical!”
Hey James, here’s a tip. I suggest getting blacked out drunk, popping a few xanax, and slicing off your own nuts with an exacto knife. Put your severed testicles in a small box (a watch box works well, but a marble sack is also acceptable), and place them up in the attic with all the Christmas decorations. If Mariah is going to chop your nuts off anyway, at least doing it yourself can reclaim a small sense of self. Hey, and James–good luck with the rest of your life. It should only get better as the years go by and you two slowly grow to resent each other.
[h/t The Fix]