New Research Proves You’re Eventually Going To Love One Direction’s Music Whether You Want To Or Not

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Spotify, the streaming music company that’s now taking over the world after Jay-Z’s TIDAL took a dump in the ocean of free and paid music subscriptions, released an incredibly interesting chart based on a person’s taste in music relative to their age.

Spotify concluded that a person’s musical taste changes with age and that there’s a certain time period — basically a person’s early forties — where they’ll start listening to pop music once again after abandoning it years earlier. They also concluded that our “musical maturity” happens at around age 35 and from then on out well all listen to some really shitty stuff.

And who’s to blame for this sudden horrific taste in tunes? Children. Those asshole children.

We also saw a maturation away from the charts among parents — except they always tend to listen to less mainstream music, and their taste plateaus twice in their mid 20s, and again in their late 20s, before leveling off around age 35. (We defined “having kids” as suddenly starting to listening to children’s music.)

Parents of children, don’t worry! You’re probably missing out on the latest chart-toppers now, but when your kids seize control of the speakers, you’re likely to encounter the hits of tomorrow.

So according to conclusions, humans listen to decent music for maybe a decade, around mid-life, then revert back to listening to awful, over-produced, mass-market shit from our forties until the kids move out. Then it’s nothing but Kenny G. until we fucking croak.

[via Spotify]

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