“If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you, son / I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.”
“Now I’m in a kush coma off the OG aroma and / My brain going on vacation”
“She changed her name to ‘my bitch.’”
“Fuck the police.”
“Bitches taking pictures cause we keep on getting richer.”
“I guess that cunt getting eaten.”
“And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fucking problem.”
“The finest vaginas demolished by my dick.”
“Hurry up with my damn croissants.”
“Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass.”
1I feel like I should say that, like, half of these rewrites from the Columbia guys involve willfull misreadings of the original lyrics, which is common when someone who's probably a Macklemore stan tries to paint all of rap is misogynistic and homophobic. It's not. There is such a thing as a rapper telling a story through someone else's point of view (i.e. “99 Problems” and that commonly misread line about a police dog). And for outsiders to try to “save” rap by fixing the lyrics always comes across as corny at best.
But maybe I'm reading too much into a one-joke Tumblr page.