The Ultimate Off-Road Tool Plus 10 Things We Want This Week

Send ideas for 10 Things to kyle AT The previous owner of this column will no longer be facilitating your material lust. He is moving to on to bigger and better things.

Casper Mattresses, $500 and up

So… college Bros. You just graduated. You are living at home right now. But that won’t last for long. What are you planning on doing when you leave? Lugging your ratty old mattress and box spring (soaked in Natural Light and some old hookup’s puke) to your new, post-college pad?

Hell no. It is time to start fresh, with one of the newest, coolest (and cheapest) beds out there. Casper Matresses are a combination of premium latex foam (which gives them the bounce you want for you know what) and memory foam for supreme comfort. But while it’s amazing to sleep on, that’s just a third of what makes them so great.

The second is that they are inexpensive. A Queen bed costs just $850 (compared to double that for the leading brands). And the bed comes shipped straight to your door, compressed in a nice, small box. One you can carry yourself and fit through any stairwell or door. Don’t believe me? Watch.

So skip the shopping. Get a Casper.

Tie Bar Derby Days Combo, $36

With the warmer weather comes the desire to look fresh as hell. With this three-piece combo, you’ll look so sharp people will have to keep their distance for fear of getting cut. If you’re thinking this is something Dwyane Wade would wear, you’re absolutely right. Get yours in time for the Miami Heat’s inevitable championship parade.

Maker’s 46, $34.99

High-end bourbons are a dime-a-dozen these days. And they all reek of pretension. Oh, this Old Winkies is aged for 19 years in wood casks scavenged from the wreck of Columbus’s Santa Maria, of which only our master distiller knows the precise geo-coordinates.

Eff that. What you want in a quality bourbon is something that doesn’t come in a plastic bottle, that people who visit you will enjoy and appreciate and that won’t make you look like the kind of jackass who thinks dropping bills on booze makes him worthwhile.

Makers 46 meets that criteria. Perfectly. It’s got a more complex flavor than your average bourbon, with nice notes of vanilla, caramel  and oak. It also goes down very smooth. I like mine on the rocks, but it’s lovely served neat.

And if you need to impress drinkers with the quality of it, let them know it’s aged for six years in seared French oak staves, which cuts down on bitterness, and that Maker’s only finishes and bottles the bourbon in the winter, when the summer heat won’t destroy the flavor.

That’s cool.

The Noble Hustle: Poker, Beef Jerky, and Death, $16


Written by Colson Whitehead, this slick read takes a look at poker’s seedier and grittier side. The participatory journalism chronicles his experience at the World Series of Poker. It’s David Foster Wallaceian — which is the highest of compliments.

Conqueror UEV-440 Off-Road Camper Trailer, $45,000

If you’ve ever wanted to truly get away from it all, this is your conveyance. Capable of doing pretty much anything, this sturdy beast would have solved every single problem Oregon Trail travelers ever had. Too bad they didn’t have a time machine.

 Phenomenon Bomber Jacket, $322

When in doubt, add another zipper. This crisp bomber is the perfect wear for early-summer campfires. Dress it up, dress it down … it will look good with any look. Put a rabbit’s foot in the arm pocket for extra luck. See if makes any difference at all and get back to us.

TimeEx Weekender Slip, $45

The perfect watch chilling at the beach and tossing the disc around, you know, if you can’t tell time just by looking at the setting sun.

Ostrim Beef & Ostrich Snack (10-pack), $18

Are you jabronis still eating the other red meats? Those are for suckers. Look to the bird. It’s lean, mean, delicious and just a bit exotic. Devastatingly good combo. Your guns — and now-noticeable abs– will thank you.

Smith Topless Bottle Opener, $45


If you’re sick of opening bottles using your teeth or armpit or whatever the hell you classless Millenials use, this bottle opener will help you evolve. Like always, sexy curves are a great reason to go topless.

A moment of appreciation for 10 Things creator Andy Moore, priceless

He came. He saw. He wanted a lot of things. It’s an honor and a privilege to take the reins here.