It’s that time of year. Time for boozing with your bros, chasing after chicks and wearing ass loads of USA-themed clothing. Because why? Because ‘Merica. And Freedom. And good old fashioned, boys bein’ boys debauchery. WOOOHOOO!
Today, we’re sharing some of our favorites that you can find at over at Shinesty. They have everything you need to keep you looking mighty ridiculous this 4th of July.
The Van Buren Short Dress Suit(Pre-Order):
They say summer short sleeve suits are like above-ground pools of the suit world. We couldn’t agree more, but we’d like to call it the mullet of the suit world. They basically go hand in hand – those above-ground pools and mullets. Anyways, I got off track there, but what you’re looking at is not a barbershop pole; it’s the new Van Buren Short Sleeve Suit and it’ll make your daddy proud.
Why’d we name it after Tommy J? Well, one night a few years back we were sitting at Toppers bar and grill in Greencastle, Indiana, when ole Tommy Jeff himself (or the ghost of…who can really say, it was a Wednesday and I usually head to Toppers for my first one around 2 pm) stumbles in. He sees me wearing this and marches right up to my barstool, stares deep into the pit of my soul for an uncomfortably long 3.5 seconds, spits his tobacco juice on the floor at my feet, chuckles, buys a round of brandy, shoots it with me, leans up to my ear and says “game recognize game,” walks off, never saw him again. Crazy night.
Either you just fell in love with these American flag overalls or you just threw up in your mouth. There’s no in between. These make the Ringling Brothers harder than Plymouth Rock. The only place I see these fit for are the Fourth of July, my birthday, Jesus’ birthday, and a county fair. You could probably show up at your family’s reunion in them too, if you’re from MO or Alabama. Hell – you could could go as far north and west as Yosemite and you’d still be in the clear.
Your eyes are not deceiving you (though it’s a common misconception). It’s big, it’s bold, it’s a 3-pieces of American freedom incarnate. I mean, how many times has your mom said, “Carl, you can’t wear your American flag tank to Sunday brunch at the Country Club?” How many times has your girlfriend forced you to wear a boring-ass blazer to those “formal” sorority events? How many times have you wished you owned an outfit that says, “I’m formal, but I sure as shit ain’t French.” For those occasions and the many other times where one omni-appropriate suit is needed, here…we…go. Suit includes sport coat jacket, dress pants, and tie.
The first American was Benjamin Franklin and he was everything an American could strive to be. He was a work hard, play hard type who was as successful in the sack as he was at founding our nation. Now for the meat and ‘taters about this baby maker. It’s got 1/4 zipper so you can show the chest rug while keeping everything else under the hood. Wind doesn’t stand a chance. Water doesn’t either because it’s water proof. Of course, if you decide to go shirt swimming, which you should never do, it will be soaked. But you can pretty much wear it in the first row of Sea World’s splash zone and be alright. But don’t support Sea World. Haven’t you seen Blackfish?
It feels like the first time every time you slip this sport coat on. It’s subtle yet carries a big stick, so we decided to go with a classic navy look on the outside while having an American flag on the inside caress your body all sensual-like. When we say sensual, we mean the inside’s so soft it’ll make a wolverine purr like a kitten.
Head over to Shinesty for more USA-Themed clothing. If you’re not into suits, you’re still bound to find something that is your speed, like their tanks, tees and other ‘Merica accessories.