We as a society have made a number of breakthrough technological advancements over the past few years: 3-D printing, augmented reality, and whatever empty promise Elon Musk is selling us at the moment.
With all the technological strides we have conquered as a civilization, none are as important and groundbreaking as the one I am prepared to present to you today.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, please have a seat.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the pinnacle of culture, fashion, and music: The JammyPacks — fanny packs with built-in bluetooth speakers.
But a fanny pack with nothing in it is about as useful as a set of pogs without a slammer.
That’s why the folks at The Drop Wine have collaborated with JammyPack to create the highest-quality, water-resistant fanny packs that bump 5W of stereo-amplified beats per speaker while housing your favorite red, white, or rosè Drop wine.
The packs are equipped with an 8W internal driver that has been balance engineered to distribute equal power to each speaker and prevent blowouts and distortion, so you can roll up to the party playing Smashmouth in crystal clear, pitch-perfect sound before crushing some wine.
JammyPacks are currently available in Neon 90s or Cali Sunset at $69.50 individually or with a 12-pack of canned wine for $100.00 plus free shipping.
Pick one up now to get your waist around the technology of the future.
Thank you TED, whoever you are, for allowing me to speak to you today.
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