It’s 2017, and we don’t have flying cars yet. Sure, Nike finally dropped those self-lacing shoes first seen in Back to the Future, and companies are currently perfecting high-end sex robots, but some days I still think we’re light years away from truthfully being able to say ‘the future is now’.
Today is one of those days. Today I feel like society took two steps forward and one step back when it was announced New York’s Southern Tier brewery, one of my favorite breweries on the planet, is releasing a beer flavored with Girl Scout Cookies.
Mike Pomranz of FoodAndWine.com reports:
A official stamp of approval from the Scouts is probably out of the question (for obvious reasons), that doesn’t mean a brewery can’t take a little inspiration from the girls’ iconic Thin Mints to whip up a brew. Hitting shelves soon, Southern Tier Thick Mint seems to be the closest you’ll come to a Thin Mint/stout mashup.
New York’s Southern Tier Brewing Company has a long history of brewing beers that are more fit for dessert than for after a hot day of mowing your lawn. Thick Mint – brewed with cocoa nibs and mint – is being added to the brewery’s “Blackwater Series” which is comprised of massive 10 percent ABV Imperial Stouts with names like Choklat, Crème Brulee and Salted Caramel – and featuring the big flavors and luscious mouthfeels to match. According to its label, Thin Mint is headed down a similar path. “We made big ways when we introduced Choklat in 2007,” the bottle reads. “Since then, our affection for decadent, flavorful, dessert-like beers and a zeal to venture into the far corners of the flavor world, have been the drivers in our endless quest to brew the perfect indulgence.” via FoodandWine.com
Yes, I like Girl Scout Cookies. Yes, I love beer. And as I mentioned above, Southern Tier Brewing Company is one of my favorite breweries in America. However, I think this is a stupid fucking idea and it’s proof that we as a society are no longer capable of coming up with any new ideas.
For proof that society has run out of people with new and great ideas, we need to look no further than Hollywood. A Power Rangers movie is hitting theaters this weekend. Damon Wayans has been starring in a Lethal Weapon TV series for two seasons now. Hollywood just regurgitates the same old shit that worked decades ago, and this is a trend that has bled into every other industry on the planet. Easter’s coming up soon. Just look at the abhorrent crossover candy creations you’ll see at the grocery store leading up to Easter. No, I don’t want a fucking licorice flavored starburst chocolate bunny marshmallow. Get out of here with that nonsense. I like my stars burst and my bunnies full of caramel and chocolate. There’s absolutely no reason to piggyback every underachieving and mediocre product in the world off of the success of a handful of great products.
With that rant aside, I’ll admit that I will probably sample this beer when it hits shelves and will happily eat my words if it turns out to be the best synergistic crossover product since someone decided to make Spam-flavored e-liquid for e-cigs/vapes.
Now, if you want to know where to purchase this Girl Scout Cookies beer and when it’s hitting shelves you’ll have to CLICK HERE to head on over to FoodAndWine.com.