Skip Commercials for the Rest of Your Life, Plus 10 Things We Want

by 6 years ago

Nike Air Vortex Vintage V-Series, $85

This shoe, an update on the classic mid-80s runner, carries a color scheme of “Mid Turquoise/Total Crimson/Squadron Green/Sail.” Which is far from the most conservative of looks, but, as you can see, it works.

ACULON T01 Binoculars, $69

Binoculars! Every good bro needs a pair of binoculars. Why? Well, it's a situational thing: You're standing on your porch, you look across the street. You see a 40-year-old buttoned-up type twerking by his window. You need a better view. Binoculars.

Or you're on a balcony. A homeless man two streets over appears to be pooping into a phone booth. You don't want to get any closer, but you feel a strange urge to see more. Binoculars.

Or you're on a beachfront. No explanation necessary. Fucking Binoculars. 

I'm just saying, I think you need binoculars. This nice Aculon pair will do.

Saturdays Boards, $65

Saturdays is New York's premier surf shop, and it's expanding to skating with a new board collection that combines a minimalist flair with a statement any bro would love. And if you dig the board but don't know how to skate, just play Tony Hawk for a few days. That'll get you, like, halfway there.

Wild Turkey Forgiven, $50

Wild Turkey's latest creation, the story goes, came about after a distiller accidentally mixed rye whiskey and bourbon into the same batch. The result turned out delicious, and the clueless worker was forgiven, hence the name. There are only a few of these in stock around the country. Keep your eyes peeled.

Silencer, $Free

On the podcast this week, the guys discussed how hard it now is to avoid major TV show spoilers, like the Red Wedding or the season finale of Mad Men or whatever comes over the last seven episodes of Breaking Bad. You know you have to avoid Twitter and Facebook the night of the show's first airing—that much is obvious—but there's always the chance a random joke will creep onto your feed two weeks later. It happens a lot.

I think I've found the cure: Silencer is a Google Chrome extension that “lets you mute any content out of your Twitter stream or Facebook news feed,” blocking any chatter of, say, Game of Thrones, and ensuring that you don't have to suffer a spoiler if you fall three or four episodes behind. It also can mute “friends” who you don't want to out-and-out unfollow (we all have one of those guys), and it can block any trending topics you'd like to just avoid (#imnotracistbut).

Silencer is a cure to what is maybe the ultimate first-world problem, but, hey, it's still pretty useful.

Breaking Bad Lego Set, $250

No, the set is not made of actual Legos. I know. It is surprising that a children's toy company didn't build a meth lab.

But even if the “Superlab” play kit comes to us from knockoff Citizen Brick, it's still pretty terrific: There are vats filled with the Blue. The iconic yellow hazmat suits hanging beside that ever-present security camera. Even a mini Walter White and Gus Fring.

Box cutter and headless Victor, unfortunately not included

Ashworth Cardiff Golf Shoes, $120

Traditional golf shoes are for old farts. Go Ashworth—they're lighter, more comfortable, and look cooler. The new ADCs, released this September, are even waterproof, too.

Commercial Break, $Free

DVR, Hulu, and Apple TV have virtually eliminated the commercial break. But there are still a few times when you can't avoid the onslaught of ads for erectile dysfunction, laundry detergent, and Charmin: When watching sports, or an event show (i.e. American Idol, if anyone still watches American Idol), or something like Game of Thrones, when you know it'll be nearly impossible to avoid spoilers from your asshole friend.

Commercial Break ensures you never have to watch another ad. The iPhone and Android app times each channel's commercial breaks, then pings you when your show has returned live. So you can flip at the right moment from the Fox game and not miss Mark Sanchez throwing a pick on CBS.

The one downside? Dads have long prided themselves on being the master of the remote control flip. They feel they've got the timing down pat, which gives them supremacy over the clicker.

Those days may be numbered.

Adventure Underwear, $39

This is waterproof underwear that contains two hidden pockets for you to put stuff. Not sure what else to say here. 

The Cameron House, $1.5 million 

Cameron's house has been on the market for several years now. It still doesn't have a buyer, and the price has been decreased by a few hundred thousand since 2010. Brokers are astounded that such an iconic piece of real estate is still up for grabs. Which means the house has been waiting… for you.

The same floor-to-ceiling windows are there, the Ferrari unfortunately isn't. But the crib comes wired for sound, and you best believe the song above would sound good. 

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