Scratch that. You definitely don’t meet Taylor Swift’s requirements to be her boyfriend. Because according to the celebrity gossip website Oh No They Didn’t, Tay recently dished to her gal pals (possibly over some rosé, it is spring after all) about what she’s looking for in a man.
And surprise, drinking Miller Lite shirtless on your couch after a tough day of procrastinating on the internet didn’t make the list.
Which… fuck. I’m great at that and I’d like to date Taylor Swift.
Here’s what she needs in her next boyfriend.
- He has to be as successful in his career as she is. I don’t know if you know this, Tay, but I’m pretty big in the blog game. I pulled down 3,500 in freelance dollars last year. That’s almost as much as the $55 million you made.
- He has to be as hot as a Hollywood leading man. That eliminates everyone except Hollywood leading men.
- He has to have a sister, so he can better relate to women. (I have two sisters Taylor. Two. Phyllis and Jenna. They can vouch for my emotional availability.)
- He has to be bilingual. Yo quiero date you, Taylor Rápido.
Yea. None of us have a fucking chance. Sad face.