Food Network’s Sexiest Celebrity Is Now Single

No, not Alton Brown, although his bow tie game is unassailable. I’m talking about the Italian Who We Want To Ride Us Like A Stallion Giada de Laurentiis.

(That was a good joke, wasn’t it?)

The host of Everyday Italian and the dream woman of pretty much any man born within 500 miles of the Mediterranean Sea announced her divorce today. She was married to some dude named Todd who she occasionally referenced on her show, which made me hate him. But whatever, for that marriage now is over. Suck it, Todd.

She announced the split in a Facebook post:

After an amicable separation since July, Todd and I have decided to end our marriage. Although our decision to separate comes with a great deal of sadness, our focus on the future and overwhelming desire for our family’s happiness has given us the strength to move forward on separate, yet always connected paths.

So, how can you get yourself some Giada? First, get in line behind me. Because although I have no idea, I would like to find out, for look at this fucking chicken piccata:

And this soup.

Seriously, Giada, we wouldn’t even need to have sex. Unless you want to. Because we totally could do both. Eat and have sex.

Call me. Also, I’m sure this is a difficult time for you. Take as long as you need. But then, call me.

[Via US Weekly]