How do you celebrate Easter? I drank four bloody marys with Titos vodka and then went to an all-you-can-eat buffet in New Jersey where I stuffed my face with ham, lamb, penne a la vodka and all the fixins. I think I ate no less than 35 cocktail shrimp. It was grotesquely gluttonous event, capped with two fine homemade Italian cannolis and a Cadbury Creme egg. By the time coffee was over and the bill was paid, I basically had to be wheeled out with a hand dolly.
I fell asleep on the train back into the city. I’m ashamed of how little self-respect and self-control I have at all-you-can-eat buffets. I’m an embarrassment to myself and everyone who knows me.
But not everyone celebrates Easter like I do, with such an artery-clogging feast. Take Kendall Jenner, for example. I assume her dinner consisted of something respectful, like carrot sticks and Greek yogurt. Maybe a red velvet cupcake or a Reese’s peanut butter egg, if she’s feeling risky.
I assume that because, based off her Instagram behavior today, the Kardasian sister celebrates the highest of Christian holidays by getting naked for the world’s enjoyment. Her picture has close to a million likes on Instagram in a couple of hours. Her Easter Sunday church outfit is quite Kendall Jenner-esque as well.
Kendall Jenner’s gnarly-looking bunny ears would give the rabbit from Donnie Darko quit a tingle in his britches.https://www.instagram.com/p/1GQbAnDo_6/
“Woke up like this!”