Paulina Gretzky Celebrated Her 28th Birthday Like Most Girls Do–Wearing Skimpy Outfits And Embracing General Debauchery

Paulina Gretzky left her toddler son and home but brought out her twins to go clubbing with hubby Dustin Johnson. It also should be noted that, according to Busted Coverage, the great Paulina Gretzky turned 28 on Monday so we are in prime “Birthday Week” celebration mode. If I know girls like I think I know girls during their birthday weeks, Paulina should be dressing skimpy and acting naughty into 2017. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to us, bro. We deserve this.

[h/t Barstool]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.