Thanks For The Mammaries: Playboy Will No Longer Have Nudity

playboy covers

Wait. What? Playboy? As in Playboy the iconic nudie magazine Playboy that published naked Marilyn Monroe photos in their first publication? No not that Playboy? Really, that Playboy will no longer feature full nudity.

The decision to abandon nudity is an effort to redesign the infamous brand that has been pleasuring the world with their gorgeous nude Playboy models since 1953. This curious change in philosophy and “top-to-bottom redesign” will begin in March.

“That battle has been fought and won,” Playboy chief executive Scott Flanders told the New York Times. “You’re now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it’s just passé at this juncture.”

Well, it appears that for the first time in history, people will actually read Playboy for the articles.

The magazine will still feature perfectly airbrushed models, but now they will be scantily clad, instead of completely naked. However, the time-honored tradition of centerfolds may not be featured in the redesigned magazine.

“A reimagined Playboy magazine [that] will include a completely modern editorial and design approach, and, for the first time in its history, will no longer feature nudity in its pages.” It promised to “continue to publish sexy, seductive pictorials of the world’s most beautiful women, including its iconic Playmates, all shot by some of today’s most renowned photographers.”

The company took the same strategy with their website last year and it paid big dividends as traffic quadrupled and the median age of its readers change from 47-years-old to 30, which the company said is “an attractive demographic for advertisers.”

Playboy described the transformation as pragmatic, and part of a broader effort to bring the company into the 21st century. Full disclosure: I was always a Club, Cherie, High Society and Oui guy myself, so this isn’t as heartbreaking for me.

The new, PG-13 Playboy magazine will still feature a Playmate of the Month. Chief content officer Cory Jones told the Times that the pictures will also be less produced, reflecting the more informal style popularized by social media.

R.I.P. naked models in Playboy, I’m going to pour out some Lubriderm lotion out in your honor.